FakeJonathan Twitter Updates

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Off the charts

Well, I did it again--Sun just reported another profitable quarter. All the numbers are up, up, up and now it's time to shake things up.

We're splitting our stock 4:1. In this way I will effectively raise our stock price to around $25 per share, something no mortal thought possible just a short time ago.

I'm telling you, we're on a roll here, people! I was so excited today that I dropped my prototype google phone in the urinal.

I looked at the thing for a second, and decided to just leave it there. If it shows up on eBay, whatever you do, don't buy the friggin thing.

1 comment:

bloodnok said...

i'm not going to complain fake schwartz as i got a cheque from you frigtards even though i don't work there anymore ...

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