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Sunday, August 12, 2007

Lost in translation


Last night I had this bizarre dream that I was on a desert island with all these other CEOs. Some of the details are fuzzy, but I remember that it dragged on and on like a Gartner session.

As it got dark, Bill Gates started a fire by rubbing sticks together, bragging the whole time about his Eagle Scout skills. So we gathered round to keep warm.

I suggested we do a skills inventory, share what we knew, and improve our collective chances for survival. I started out by offering my services as a cook. I told them the problem was there was no food.

Then Steve Ballmer went around asking everyone how much they weighed. I noticed he started with his kids.

We were at each other's throats and couldn't seem to agree on a course of action. Larry Ellison wanted to enslave the local penguins and build a sailboat, but Jeff Bezos insisted on building a rocket from hemp composites.

Suddenly, Ed Zander pulled out a Rokr phone and called for help. As he climbed up the rope ladder from his corporate helicopter, he flipped the bird at Steve Jobs and said something about payback being a bitch.

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