FakeJonathan Twitter Updates

Monday, August 20, 2007

Red Shift on Red Bull

The press has really been picking up on our Red Shift theory, and I have to say it's about time. Every company should have theory, I think.

In the case of Red Shift, the theory is that people are going to need exponentially more compute cycles to deliver Web 2.0 stuff in the future. Or something like that.

Now you can argue that Greg Papadopoulos is kind of making a leap here. But I had my staff dig up some examples that provide undeniable proof that this shit is going down:

* Twitter, a "global community of friends and strangers answering one simple question: What are you doing?" People thought George Orwell was way ahead of his time predicting a Big Brother government that watches your every move. Who'd have ever thought that people would be stupid enough to actually key in the information themselves? This was truly visionary.

* UsedGirlfriend.com "Your personal resource for managing your breakup! We provide several tools to help you get rid of your unwanted baggage and completely avoid that awkward conversation about why it's over." Here again is sheer brilliance. In our always-on, instant message communiverse, the old tried and true method of just-stop-calling-her-baggy-ass probably doesn't work like it did for me back in college.

* MyYearbook.com, which was started by a teenager: "It all started during Spring Break 2005, flipping through a yearbook in my room and realizing it sucked. This is 2005 - why the hell is anyone buying yearbooks anymore?" And unlike sites like Facebook, they use 20 fonts on the same page in order to repel horny old married guys.

So there you have it. Red Shift serves as a leading indicator of the IT needs of the future. Get on the clue train before the teenagers using this shit grow up and start running the planet.

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