FakeJonathan Twitter Updates

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Step right up, Cowboy

So you all probably read that we're going to counter-sue the living shit out of NET APP. I really didn't want to go there, but that Cowboy David Hitz gave me no choice.

I was all set to do what he wanted to end this hostility. As I told you on the CB, he wanted us to make ZFS un-free and promise to use it only on computers and not storage devices. Honestly, I could have lived with that.

But you should have seen his other demands:

* Cut off my ponytail and wear my hair like John Fowler.

* Change the name ZFS to DUFUS.

* Sell our StorageTek division to SCO.

* Pick up and polish Hitz' cowboy boots every Friday morning in my limo.

I'll tell you, these lawsuits tend to go on for years. Net App customers will bail in droves as this drags on and their market share will shrink to the point where their board will have to step in and send Festus out to pasture.

Sad, I know. But this cowboy's story is going to take him to the end of his friggin rope. And if there's one thing them judges can't stand, it's the smell of horseshit in the courtroom.


Anonymous said...

Excellent work!

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAH awesome.

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