FakeJonathan Twitter Updates

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

AMD can thank me later

AMD has been pregnant with Barcelona for a long time, but now that the baby is in the crib, I want to share my own delivery story.

AMD's Barcelona webcast was held at 6:30 pm Pacific time so that participants could join live from all parts of the globe. I was supposed to tape my segment from our studios in Menlo Park.

I got there early and the vibe was all wrong. It was just me, some camera guy contractor, and a little monitor for me to watch. Totally lame.

So I hopped in my limo and told the driver to take me to the Presidio where the real event was taking place. Trouble was, the friggin Giants game had traffic tied up in knots!

I called in to tell them I was running late, and AMD's Hector Ruiz had a shit-fit.

"Wha-chu mean, traffic? We'sa planning dis event for over six-a fucking a-months!"

I couldn't help but laugh because the guy sounded just like Father Guido Sarducci.

"Dude, like chill, OK? Just put me at the end."

So I got there an hour late and the moderator had no clue how to introduce me. He stammered something about the dot-com being the network computer and I winged it from there with a nice history lesson of Sun and AMD. Hector must have had some bad shrimp or something because I saw him run off and barf backstage.

That's the trouble with a lot of CEOs. They just don't have the pizazz it takes to pull off this kind of shit.


Steve Ballmer said...

If you weren't so stupid I'd hire you, shutdown Sun and bone your wife.... well maybe not hire you.

theskyisfalling said...

What have you been drinking, Jonathan? Ally with the borg? Strategic partnership with microcrap? Argh!

Steve Ballmer said...

Sorry dude but I just let everyone in on the 16 step plan!

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