FakeJonathan Twitter Updates

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Rubbed the wrong way

My masseuse said that my tension levels are off the scale. She asked me what's up with that.

"Well," I told her, "Fake Steve has been mocking me about our pending 4-1 stock split. Every time I do a bold corporate move, the iTard gets on me about how stupid it is."

"And how does that make you feel?"

"I dunno. Insecure. Belittled. Foolish."

"And who is this guy, this Fake Steve person?"

"He's an editor at Forbes pretending to be a Billionaire CEO."

"Hmmmm. And did Forbes write about you much before this fake person came along?"

"Wait. Oh my god!" I exclaimed. "You're a genius! Of course! Fake Steve must be a stockholder! By mocking me constantly, he hopes to increase investor awareness."

I felt my muscles relax. Like the Buddha says, it's not so much about what people say, the mud they throw, or who they pretend to be. In the end, it's all about intent.

1 comment:

Steve Ballmer said...

No.
He's mocking you because you are short! lol

 
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