FakeJonathan Twitter Updates

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Maker's Mark

Every new leader has to make his mark. This differentiation process can be especially tough when you happen to be the successor to someone like Scooter. Without his caustic wit, it seemed fruitless for me to keep up his tradition of slamming our competitors.

So I have chosen an alternate strategy for the express purpose of getting Sun's name out there. At times, the tactics in this strategy might confound you. Things like changing our stock ticker, splitting the stock 4-1, and giving shit away are not in the playbook of mere mortal CEOs. In fact, these actions are just the harbingers of an approaching maelstrom of unconventionality to come.

Like any good uber-strategy, this work of genius needs a name. I'm dubbing it The Power of the Schwartz.

In short, the Schwartz is an energy field that influences all living things. It surrounds us, penetrates us, and binds the business galaxy together. And as it has since the dawn of time, the Schwartz plays a part in nearly every decision made by men.

So the next time Sun does something that makes you scratch your head, think about the great power behind it all. You will become one with understanding.

May the Schwartz be with you.


Paul said...

You can't go wrong with Spaceballs! Brilliant!

Keep up the great posts.

bloodnok said...

wait a tick: i claim prior rights on naming the schwartz the schwartz!

bloodnok said...

actually it's all fairly obvious ...

Site Meter