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Thursday, September 13, 2007

Strange Bedfellows

It's been a hectic week. I bought CFS, helped AMD launch their quad-core, and turned Sun into an OEM for one of the most reviled companies on the planet.

And people are getting all upset like we committed some kind of sacrilege or something. The backlash got so bad I was beginning to think this time I shouldn't have announced the one more thing as Jobso likes to do.

The moment I knew it was time to face the music was when my kid asked me why I signed a deal with the Borg. "They're evil, Daddy. They even made Captain Picard do bad things!"

While it was easy to straighten out this misunderstanding, it occurs to me that the world looks at Microsoft through a child's eyes. As convicted monopolists, they will always be cast as the bad guys.

So when Sun puts down the gloves and works with Microsoft, naturally it's kind of a letdown. We're supposed to fight the evil, not profit from it.

Look guys, that's bullshit! Something like 65 percent of servers ship with windows on them. As an x86 vendor, we need to give the frigtards in this market what they want.

Does that make us hypocritical? Sure. But as I heard Alan Alda say on NPR today, "The good thing about being a hypocrite is that you get to keep your values."


Steve Ballmer said...

Earlier this year it was Novell, now it's Sun Micro Systems!
I wondered how long these guys could hold out against us, in the end no one can really.
Jonathan Schawrtz, Sun's illustrious, forward thinking, eager-beaver, level-headed, pragmatic, pony-tailed leader has seen the future, a Microsoft future! The guy is smarter than I thought, he wants to get out in a few years with some cash in pocket. You see all of the big exec's know how this works (It's called the 16 steps plan:

1. Resist Microsoft (gain a rep)
2. Become almost cultishly blind to the realities surrounding you.
3. Release some cool products (declare them to be cool anyways)
4. Lose money hand over fist every quarter for a few years.
5. Blame Microsoft
6. Hint at softening your stance (but deny it in public)
7. Sneak into Redmond, beg me for help, bow before me
8. Wait 6 months for a reply
9. Announce a "strategic alliance" new era of cooperation and understanding
10. Open some of your source code to us
11. We release favorable press releases about you (your stock goes up)
12. Once we have "absorbed" what we wanted and made simmilar apps which don't work quite as well, we announce an end of the alliance and blame you!
13. Your stock plummets to record lows
14. We offer to Buy your company cheap ... but CEO gets sweetheart deal.
15. Buy, downsize, dismantle, assimilate remainder
16. Deny your company ever existed.

Schawrtz is now entering step 9. I'm sooo excited!

microsoftkiller said...

^Ahh, but Sun's a different company. We have a secret worse case scenario team/plan specially built for you Ballmie. We're going to smoke you and your brethren. Why? Because we're smarter, and better than you. :) Stay tuned!

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