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Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Big Blue is Harshing my Vibe

Today I was going to write about the Participation Age and the Net Effect of having billions of interconnected devices on our Global Infotech-econosphere, but something even more fascinating hit my radar.

Instead, I want to talk about drugs, specifically, the ones that the IBM marketing people must be taking.

I went to IBM.com today just to sniff around. They've agreed to resell Solaris, so I wanted to see what kind of two-faced propaganda they really had out there.

And suddenly, I found myself in a strange world full of bipolar emotions. It started with laughter when I read one of their headlines:

"Out with cables
In with blades"

Ouch! Hey Palmisano, mind if I send that line to Scooter for one of his top ten lists? And is impaling a feature or a benefit?

So I felt compelled to read more and I wound up on this flash site where you can roll this giant ball of wire around a datacenter while you listen to music from David Lynch's Eraserhead. It was unnerving as hell.

So I got out of there by clicking on Success Stories and it says, "ST. JUDE FIGHTS CANCER WITH BLADES" which is only fair, since St. Jude got killed with a friggin axe.

But wait, it gets weirder. When I clicked on Unipart Logistics, it said, "UNIPART LOGISTICS SUPPLIES DEMAND WITH BLADECENTER." My god! The laws of economics do not even apply in this hellish universe IBM has created!

So, let's go back to the topic of drugs since this experience has really harshed my vibe:

It's time for IBM to put out a service bulletin about not taking the brown acid.


Steve Ballmer said...

I hope you guys have upgraded to Vista Server!

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