FakeJonathan Twitter Updates

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Hasta la vista

Dear FSB,

As reported here, you and your bloated crew up in Redmond have been having a hell of a time getting businesses to switch to Vista. The new OS is described as a broken, bloated, resource-hogging, incompatible kluge.

My favorite quote comes from one of your former shills at PC Magazine:
"I could go on and on about the lack of drivers, the bizarre wake-up rituals, the strange and nonreproducible system quirks, and more. But I won't bore you with the details. The upshot is that even after nine months, Vista just ain't cutting it."

You know something's wrong when the Chinese won't even use their free copies of Vista for the upcoming Olympics because they claim it's too unstable. Sorry, FSB, even your butt-buddies at Dell have broken the kudzu and are selling Linux PCs.

Now, you're probably running around throwing chairs and stuff in an effort to manage your way out of this mess. But it seems to me that the way forward is to focus on a few new software design principles:

* "Different" is not necessarily "better." Whatever you do, make sure that whatever you schlep out there is actually better than what you had.

* Forget cool. If your customers wanted cool, they'd buy a mac. You have to realize that your customers expect your OS to look crappy. Slapping a new skin on the Registry with sound effects from Robert Fripp only scared the frigtards shitless.

I hope these thoughts help you find your way, FSB. I really do. And keep in mind that you could just do like us and focus on the kernel. Let the freetard Gnomies do the interface. These guys not only know what they're doing, they really care about this shit.

Best regards,

Fake Jonathan

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