FakeJonathan Twitter Updates

Monday, August 13, 2007

Finn Dinner

A while back on my corporate blog, I offered Linus Torvalds an olive branch. I invited him over for an informal dinner where I would cook and all he had to do was bring the wine.

This woo-fest all stemmed from a note Linus wrote to someone about how Linux had hurt Sun badly. Well, Duh!

Forget what I said to those Frigtard analysts about the real culprit being the companies that duped the Linux community into doing their dirty work. Like anything else I say on the corporate bully pulpit, that was all for effect.

But that's all the past. Even the SlashTards give us credit these days when we release a couple of billion lines of source. Bygones.

Linus must have agreed because he came back to me with a counter offer. Since his FreeTard employers at the Linux Foundation wouldn't pony up for a lousy plane ticket, Linus said that the dinner had to happen at his house in Beaverton, or no deal.

Long story short, I showed up with a nice white French Burgundy since he said he was going to be serving fish. But from the minute I walked in the door, I knew I was screwed.

That wily Finn served me stinking Lutefisk! Imagine my indignation as I had to sit there there chewing this wretched fish jello while smiling the whole time at his wife and three kids. I still have nightmares about his shit-ass grin.

So yeah, we shook hands on a deal after that. I can't tell you the details quite yet, but I do promise that the next employee who gives me any shit about open source will get RIFFED so fast he leaves his friggin balls behind!

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